Forget stars, stripes and those gorgeous Mary-Jane heels, it seems this season’s ‘must haves’ can’t be bought at Topshop or Urbanoutfitters, as celebrities have been following fashion trends, that well….don’t actually relate to fashion!
Nowadays it doesn’t matter whether you have Chloe or Balenciaga on your arm, rather you should be worrying about WHO is on your arm. Yes the gay best friends and ‘handbag dogs’ are out and instead we have a new collection of accesories firmly linked to the elbows of the beautiful and famous. So get ready to meet this season’s must haves, as I identify the pros and cons of each fabulous accessory!
The Rock Star Boyfriend
Yes ladies he is back in fashion. After Kate dumped Pete, Drew and Fab broke up and Kirsten and Johnny hit the fan we had started to think we had finally seen the end of this trendy must have. Yet never fear skinny jean lovers, as he is back this Spring with a vengence having being seen gracing the arms of many an adoring celebrity lady so far this season. Harry Potter beauty Emma Watson was cast under the spell (sorry couldn’t resist it!) of Razorlight badboy Johnny Borrell, Alexa Chung has been listening to the sweet nothings of Arctic Monkey’s Alex Turner and Kate Moss is rumoured to be engaged to her frontman-trade in Jamie Hince from The Kills.
Advantages
- As well as having a gorgeous man on your arm, you can also be provided with accompanying walking music.
- You get to drink their free alcohol backstage at gigs.
- They always have hair wax and hair spray at the ready.
Disadvantages
- His skinny jeans are smaller than yours.
- You can’t actually find him backstage as he is surrounded by trashed groupies who’ve already drank the rider dry.
- His bandmates become a constant fixture on your bedroom floor.
The Fashion Designer
The famous fashion designer is quite possibly the best accesory to have on your arm. They are fashionable by default thereby giving you ultimate credibility. Britain’s favourite northern lass, model Agyness Dean has been making us all envious not only by stealing the title of ‘world’s best dressed woman’ from Kate Moss but also through her friendship with fashion icon Henry Holland. New brunette Claudia Schiffer has also been seen clinging on the arm of and listening intently to fashion legend Karl Largerfeld and Cavalli has reportedly been running after Amy Winehouse. Jealous, me?
Advantages
- If you come down with a horrible eye infection a la Agyness Dean, there’s no need to stay at home on a Saturday, your fashion designer friend can fashion you a trendy eye patch.
- Freebies, need I say more?
Disadvantages
- Fashion is a fickle world, you could be dumped quicker than red jeans were.
- No one likes being told their new dress is “so out darling!”
- You can’t fit your arm let alone your waist into your friend’s new, designer, chunky belts.
The Failed Celebrity
There’s no better ego boost for a celebrity than having a failed one hanging off their arm. A sort of “aren’t I a nice person for hanging out with this D lister?” Sienna Miller can currently be seen smooching her ‘Shaggy from Scooby Doo lookalike’ Rhys Ifans, apparently trendy on the Primrose Hill set but best known to most of us as the crazy Welsh bloke in Notting Hill. Mark Ronson has also been reportedly befriending and signing up reality tv star rejects for his new female super group and IT girl Alexa Chung has been caught giggling at fashion shows with new best friend Kelly Osbourne.
Advantages
- You can send them to do your errands
- They will always appreciate your company
Disadvantages
- You need to be above D List celeb status for this to work
- Desperation is not becoming in a friendship
So after summing up the evidence regarding groupies, fashion criticism and d listers… I’ve decided that this season I’d much rather stick with the over the body bags and t bar shoes thanks!
Laura Mackenzie
Image Editor
April 10th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Might I add to the evidence reports this week of Amy Winehouse hanging out with former Big Brother contestants… what is going on with the world?